Dear Mr McBride. The sixth epistle according to Capt. Hall

To:       Mr T E McBride, CEO

From:           Capt A Hall

 

Dear Mr McBride.

It was kind of you to invite both Simon Watson and me to your office the other day.  I have taken careful note of your comments and those of our HR lady, Miss Pegg.

Regrettably, because of your sudden illness, we were unable to assure you that we were not responsible for the post-it notes distributed around the VIP Visitor area.  I am quite sure that even senior clergymen have encountered those four letter words on previous occasions and that any outrage displayed was superficial and short lived.  I make the assumption that the note causing most concern was the one on the light switch.  At a quick glance, it is very easy to mistake the phrase “flick off” for something more offensive and I know that His Grace, the Bishop has poor eyesight.

Regarding the strongly worded letter from the Engineering manager, it must surely be a stretch of the imagination to place the blame on SW and me for the unfortunate juxtaposition of the letters on the airline logo on the maintenance building.  You will be aware, of course, that vandalism abounds in this area and I would hold those elements responsible but I doubt if any member of the public would notice that “Fly United” had become “Fly Untied”

We were both disappointed to learn that we would not be scheduled to crew the aircraft conveying the Sisters of Mercy on their annual pilgrimage to Rome.  I regret the confusion caused last year when the cabin PA system was accidentally left open when the discussion between Simon and me turned to the poor performance of the English cricket team.  I accept that the language used might have been considered somewhat colourful and from the complaint registered by the Mother Superior, I imagine that she is a keen supporter of the team.

As I recall the progress of our meeting, Miss Tomlinson, who was making notes, had some difficulty in transcribing your valued comments.  I was able, after your ambulance had departed, to correct her spelling of the words “puerile” and “bar stewards” and also the correct name of the anatomical area by which you indicated that we were to be suspended on your office door.

On another matter and whilst on the subject of office doors, I distinctly remember you saying, when we first met that your office door would always be open and I was disappointed to learn the exact meaning of that phrase.  You will be pleased to know that I have arranged for a carpenter to refit the door as soon as possible.

I know that our meeting must have been very stressful for you and I hope that you will make a full recovery soon.  I have heard that daily aspirin is effective in dealing with blood pressure problems.  The unfortunate relapse that you suffered when you learned that SW and I planned to visit you in hospital was not apparently too serious.

Vey best wishes,

 

Allen Hall.

 

 

 

 


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