Dear Mr McBride. The sixth epistle according to Capt. Hall

To:       Mr T E McBride, CEO

From:           Capt A Hall

 

Dear Mr McBride.

It was kind of you to invite both Simon Watson and me to your office the other day.  I have taken careful note of your comments and those of our HR lady, Miss Pegg.

Regrettably, because of your sudden illness, we were unable to assure you that we were not responsible for the post-it notes distributed around the VIP Visitor area.  I am quite sure that even senior clergymen have encountered those four letter words on previous occasions and that any outrage displayed was superficial and short lived.  I make the assumption that the note causing most concern was the one on the light switch.  At a quick glance, it is very easy to mistake the phrase “flick off” for something more offensive and I know that His Grace, the Bishop has poor eyesight.

Regarding the strongly worded letter from the Engineering manager, it must surely be a stretch of the imagination to place the blame on SW and me for the unfortunate juxtaposition of the letters on the airline logo on the maintenance building.  You will be aware, of course, that vandalism abounds in this area and I would hold those elements responsible but I doubt if any member of the public would notice that “Fly United” had become “Fly Untied”

We were both disappointed to learn that we would not be scheduled to crew the aircraft conveying the Sisters of Mercy on their annual pilgrimage to Rome.  I regret the confusion caused last year when the cabin PA system was accidentally left open when the discussion between Simon and me turned to the poor performance of the English cricket team.  I accept that the language used might have been considered somewhat colourful and from the complaint registered by the Mother Superior, I imagine that she is a keen supporter of the team.

As I recall the progress of our meeting, Miss Tomlinson, who was making notes, had some difficulty in transcribing your valued comments.  I was able, after your ambulance had departed, to correct her spelling of the words “puerile” and “bar stewards” and also the correct name of the anatomical area by which you indicated that we were to be suspended on your office door.

On another matter and whilst on the subject of office doors, I distinctly remember you saying, when we first met that your office door would always be open and I was disappointed to learn the exact meaning of that phrase.  You will be pleased to know that I have arranged for a carpenter to refit the door as soon as possible.

I know that our meeting must have been very stressful for you and I hope that you will make a full recovery soon.  I have heard that daily aspirin is effective in dealing with blood pressure problems.  The unfortunate relapse that you suffered when you learned that SW and I planned to visit you in hospital was not apparently too serious.

Vey best wishes,

 

Allen Hall.

 

 

 

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This is me!

Greetings! As an introduction, may I bore you with a short biography.  I appreciate that you may become weary and need to take a little nap.  This is totally understandable but if possible, please try not to snore.  Mild dribbling may be forgiven at the absolute discretion of the Management. I am a proud Scot although I left my native shores at the age of nineteen to join the Royal Air Force.  Having a degree in English from the University of Aberdeen, the RAF concluded that I was possible officer material and, as I was able to walk and chew gum simultaneously, I was selected for pilot training. After training, I progressed through fighter aircraft, finally arriving at the BAC Lightning which is the most terrifying of all flying machines before retraining on the endearing Hercules which is rather slower and much more suited to one of advancing years. Leaving the RAF, I worked for several airlines both in UK and the USA.  Sadly, and I disclaim all responsibility, many of these operation
Read more

The Wedding - The woes of a musician

I should start by saying that weddings do not fill me with great joy. I have had some where I played a leading role, several as a guest and many as a menial musician, paid to entertain the masses by providing music to fight by. A good friend had decided to take the giant leap and asked me if I would provide the organ backing for the main event as the organist who regularly played in the church had claimed sickness although the event was some three months ahead. The organ installed in the church was a Hammond C3, an animal with which I am very familiar so with a degree of reluctance I agreed. The programme featured the Arrival of the Queen of Sheba instead of the more traditional Bridal Chorus and the usual recessional Mendelssohn ( also known as the Retreat of the Vanquished). Sadly, I was unaware that I was to be joined by the choir from the school where my friend was a teacher and three members of the school orchestra, two recorders and a violin. That was the first indi
Read more

My Best Friend

    Gemma.   A perfect lady       I was there when she was born early one cold morning in March. I held her when she was just ten minutes old and I marveled at how perfect she was.   I was there when her brother and her sister were born too, but something deep inside me told me that Gemma was very special. She lay quietly in my arms, her eyes tightly shut. Looking at the tiny creature I marveled at the perfection of her body and realised at that moment that we were destined to be very close indeed.   Gemma was the absolute replica of her mother. She had almost exactly the same markings, even down to the white smudge over her right eye. When she was old enough to leave her mother, I proudly collected the Springer Spaniel puppy and bore her in triumph to her new home. Although she was surrounded by new toys and every care had been taken to ensure her comfort and well-being, the first two or three nights were traumatic both for the puppy and for me. Common sense dictated t
Read more