The further letters to Mr McBride

 

To:  Mr T E McBride

From:  Capt A Hall

Dear Mr McBride.

Before I explain the circumstances surrounding the missing tow tractor, may I extend the good wishes of all the flight deck crews on your long awaited return to work following your extensive stay in hospital.  It is good to learn that you will eventually be able to reduce the Valium dosage to a level that allows you to speak coherently.

As you will be aware, the aircraft towing tractors leased to us by the Airport Authority may only be driven by suitably qualified personnel.  I received assurances that, having driven tractors on my uncle’s farm, I met the required criteria. 

Although the report filed by Air Traffic regarding an unauthorized crossing of the active runway has some basis in fact, it fails to mention that I made a radio call for clearance in which I may have inadvertently given the impression that I was a British Airways aircraft.  In effect, there is little difference between a tractor and a Boeing 747 as both will take a similar time to clear the runway.  The scrambling of the airport emergency services to look for an apparently missing 747 was an over-reaction by Air Traffic Control.

A glance at a map will confirm that the KFC store is located in the terminal building which is, of course on the other side of the airport.  As we are not permitted to drive private cars on the airport, it made sense and saved time to use an airport vehicle to make the trip as we were all quite hungry and as you frequently remind us in your daily memos, time is money.

The vehicle is, understandably, quite large and difficult to drive so despite several attempts, I was unable to get it into the car park.  I am quite certain that the damage to the barriers and to the parking attendant’s hut has been exaggerated.  I had little option other than to leave the vehicle in the bus park and I regret the confusion caused to the elderly lady who climbed up into the cab expecting to travel to the long stay car park.

I have not been able to determine the location to which the tractor was towed but I have been told that it may be the breaker’s yard outside the town.  I assure you that I will leave no stone unturned to find out.

I hope that your office door is to your satisfaction.  The decorators tell me that the sign saying “Female Toilet” can be removed with paint stripper.

I will ensure that you are kept up to date with any developments and once again, welcome back.  We missed you!

 

Very kind regards,

 

Allen Hall.

Comments

  1. Peter Bainbridge4 October 2020 at 15:38

    Hi Allen, another amusing piece. Liked the Ladies Toilet door...very funny.

    ReplyDelete

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