Dear Mr McBride letter 5
To: Mr T E McBride CEO
From: Capt. A Hall
April 13 2002
Dear Mr McBride.
I feel that I must correct any impression that you may have
regarding the relationship between Miss Tomlinson and myself. Despite
indications to the contrary, nothing of any significance took place at the
Christmas party. When I went to the stationery store to rest, Miss Tomlinson
was already there, and with the lights out, I tripped over her, thereby causing
both of us to fall to the floor. Due, no doubt to our close proximity, she
acted in a very friendly manner and I was not aware of any protest on her part.
I was greatly surprised when she made a complaint some three days later.
I have apologised to the Financial Director who regrettably was on the
receiving end of the phone call from her irate fiancé. My understanding of the
situation is that the gentleman telephoned the Company and demanded to speak to
‘whoever was in charge.’ It was a very regrettable situation and I trust that
Mr Eggleton will recover soon. I also made an attempt to ease Jennifer’s anger
by inviting her to dinner at a venue of her choice. When she suggested the
Stansted Hilton I naturally assumed that she would not wish to drive home
afterwards, so I took the liberty of booking a double room for her. I had
absolutely no idea that her fiance had followed her and had drawn a completely
erroneous conclusion when he managed to persuade the Hilton receptionist to
show him the register. I should mention, whilst on the subject of the Hilton,
that I had every intention of paying the bill myself. How it came to be
invoiced to the Company is a total mystery.
Regarding the incident in the dining room, the report made to the Company by
the manager fails to point out that it was Miss Tomlinson’s fiancé who struck
the first blow. I consider it entirely inappropriate for a vicar to behave in
that manner or to use that sort of language, especially in the presence of a
lady. Had I known that he was a man of the cloth, I would not have retaliated
in the manner in which I did. Had I also been aware that he was trained in
martial arts, I probably would not have been thrown onto the adjacent table.
The elderly gentleman was quite understanding about the interruption to his
meal.
Because of the valuable training in Interpersonal Relationships that I received
as part of the Company induction processes, I was eventually able to convince
the fiancé that nothing untoward had been envisaged. We spent the rest of the
evening drinking together at the bar to Jennifer’s obvious irritation. I feel
sure that you will agree that a vicar would never engage in the sort of
behaviour that was alleged by the bar staff. Neither the reverend gentleman nor
I requested the blonde barmaid to display any portion of her anatomy and we
certainly did not suggest it loud enough for anyone else to hear.
As Miss Tomlinson had retired to the room that I had booked, the vicar and I
decided to take advantage of the late licence available to residents. At around
three in the morning, we decided to check on Jennifer to ensure that she was
satisfied with her accommodation. We went to the room together because I had
the key and the Rev. Dennis wanted to accompany me. I have to say that she was
quite abusive when it was suggested that Dennis and I take the weight off our
feet by lying on the bed beside her. Exhibiting surprising strength for such a
slim lady, she propelled us both into the corridor and slammed the door behind
us. I am happy to relate that she allowed us to collect our clothes on the
following morning.
Our relationship has subsequently been somewhat frosty and I would ask you to
request that Human Resources take that into account when dealing with her
complaints.
Best regards
Allen Hall
Love these "letters" they certainly put a smile on my face.
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